A Little Ditty

He's my American Fool

Bonjour lapins!

My new favorite subway ad is trolling for Vioxx victims and says “Heart attacks, strokes, blood clots and death. 1-800-LAWYERS.” I love it. It’s a musical that writes itself:

Heart attacks, strokes, blood clots and death,
We’ve got your back until your last breath.
If you are sick from taking a pill,
We’ll sue their ass and send you the bill.

I TOTALLY have a future on Broadway, no?

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I just got some address labels from St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. Those kids can’t be that sick if they’re making address labels.

Who is Brittany Murphy and why is she on Dave Letterman? (Seriously, who is she?) More importantly, why is Chasing Farrah on instead of Cheers? Am I going to have to write another angry letter to TV Land?

My love for the 70s channel is well-documented, and the best “Artist Fact” ever is: “Bob Welch spent five weeks in heroin-induced coma”

Speaking of Bob Welch, and I have no idea who he is, I always though the line in JC’s Jack and Diane (best song in the history of music) “Let the bible belt come and save your soul” was “Let the Bobby Welch come and save your soul.” I swear to God. The fact that all these years later I find out there actually is a Bob Welch who was in a five-week-heroin-induced coma is fantastic.

Oh my gosh! I just did a Google search to see who the heck Bob Welch is (Fleetwood Mac, apparently), and there IS a Bobby Welch who is some kind of Southern Baptist pastor… it’s all makes sense! I’m telling you, the Lord works in mysterious ways. (And yes, I’ve had three beers tonight, but I don’t think that’s relevant.)