People Will Come, Ray

 

After a long, cold winter, made warmer by the knowledge that whenever my annoying Yankee fan uncle started in on his cogent “Jeter has four rings” argument, I could patiently shake my head and work the word “choke” into the conversation, the hour is upon us…it’s April 3 and the lights are on at Yankee Stadium.

I’m so happy baseball’s back I don’t even care the Red Sox are losing and David Wells sucked. For the next six months, life will unfold with “Meet me at Foxwoods” playing in the background and that’s good enough for me.

Of course that doesn’t mean I have nothing to complain about.

For one thing, I don’t like the idea of the Red Sox opening against the Yankees, other than the fact I can watch the game at work. They should ease us into the season and open against a stupid team like Baltimore or Toronto. Having to go from no baseball to Red Sox-Yankees is taxing. I haven’t had time to build up my tolerance to the Yankee fans at work who say things like, “after Sunday, their magic number will be 161.”

On the other hand, I am grateful tonight’s game is just a game game and not a playoff game. If I had to survive another week like last year's ALCS I would definitely have to check myself into rehab.

Other things annoying me:

Ronan Tynan and his 45-minute rendition of “God Bless America.”

The YES announcers crediting Tino Martinez with curing AIDS, paying off the national debt and rescuing puppies from the tsunami.

The YES announcers, period. In fact, the whole YES network. Is it really necessary to keep showing clips of Babe Ruth? WE GET IT. It’s about as original as a Lifetime movie.

Jorge Posada, Jorge Posada, Jorge Posada.

See, I am happy. Only a short list of complaints. Life is good in the 212 tonight.

Play ball!