Listful Thinking

I’m so down with the lists lately.

HOLIDAY SONG:

On the 12th Day of Christmas, Johnny Damon* gave to me:

12 leopard handbags
11 piles of cat puke
10 people chewing
9 Mets third basemen
8 tardy C trains
7 hours of TV
6 baffling bank fees
5 Amstel lights
4 subs from Lenny’s
3 dead mice
2 white trash babies…
and a disaster on NGC

*Unless he signs with the Yankees, in which case he will cease to be my true love.

***
Tonight on ABC at 8pm: I Want A Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown

OTHER CHARLIE BROWN TV SPECIALS:

I’m Allergic to Shellfish, Charlie Brown
I Wish Mommy Would Stop Drinking, Charlie Brown
I Need a Kidney Transplant, Charlie Brown
Daddy Lost All Our Money at the Track, Charlie Brown
You Will Waste Away in Hell Unless You Accept Jesus Christ as Your Personal Savior, Charlie Brown
Don’t Call Me Shirley, Charlie Brown
I Think Tony Soprano is Kind of Hot, Charlie Brown
I’m Mitt Romney And I Approve Of This Message, Charlie Brown

***
PLACES THE DEVIL WENT AFTER GEORGIA:

Macy’s One-Day Sale
Waffle House
His brother-in-law Bob’s
Disneyland
Jersey