12 Days of Bitchness

On the 12th day of Christmas, Mikey Lowell gave to me...


12 Obama posters



11 hours on Facebook



10 puerile comments


9 pseudo beaches


8 "It's on you, Babe"s


7 winning beagles


6 guys named "Jimmy"


5 trips 'round San Juan


4 whiffle balls


3 dead mice


2 douchey hats


And a black eye with a bruised cheek