De-Parting Shots

So I work with this guy who is a Cardinals fan (he’s from St. Louis, which is surprising, because I thought the Midwest was a myth, like Atlantis), and we share a workspace. He has a cutout of Tony LaRussa’s head taped to the computer, which I find kind of disconcerting. However, I can’t say anything to him about it because A) until recently, I had a picture of David Wright with an “I heart Kate” thought bubble taped there and B) if Tony LaRussa’s head can do anything to end this interminable World Series, I’m all for it.

Since everyone who “blogs” is contractually obligated to mention the World Series and The Departed, here’s my review of the movie: it’s not Goodfellas, but it’s not bad. On the plus side: Matt Damon is hot. Leo DiCaprio is hot. I think I’m a little bit in love with Marky Mark.* I give the Boston porn an A+ (even though the movie was mostly shot in New York - which I take as a shout-out to me), and according to IMDB.com, they use the word “fuck” 237 times in the whole movie, only slightly less than I do in an average conversation.

On the minus side, not EVERYONE in Boston has a Boston accent, so I find it annoying that EVERY character in EVERY movie set in Boston sounds like Cliff Clavin. Did every character in Goodfellas have an obviously fake New York accent? No. Does everyone in The Sopranos really sound like they’re from Jersey? No. So knock it off.

Secondly, there is no way the woman in the movie is hot to enough to sleep with Matt Damon AND Leonardo DiCaprio, fake accent or no. She is just too skinny and annoying. Also, I am so over Jack Nicholson, although he wasn’t as irritating as usual. But he needs to retire.

And I guess that's it. Two thumbs up. Go Tigers (or whoever)!!

*Speaking of Marky Mark, I recently re-watched Boogie Nights, and all I can say is, all this time I thought Dirk Diggler was a real porn star. I know he is based on one, but I thought he was a real guy. I also thought Go Ask Alice was a real book and I guess it did its job as anti-drug propaganda because I was always too scared to try LSD for fear I would accidentally put the neighbor’s baby in the oven to kill all the bugs crawling on it.