Dear Upstairs Neighbors:
Hi! I like Law & Order SVU too! The thing is, I prefer to watch it in my own apartment at a reasonable volume. If you could be so kind as to please turn down your TV, I would be eternally grateful. Thank you so much!
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Dear Upstairs Neighbors:
Hi there, it’s me again. I really hate to keep harping on this, but your TV is still quite loud and I’m trying to do some work down here. That dun-dun sound effect really breaks my concentration.
But hey, how about that Chris Meloni! He goes to my gym! We both like to use the chest press, and sometimes I use treadmill 17 right after he does. I’m not supposed to talk to him anymore (stupid judge!), but maybe if you turned down your TV I could introduce you. Think about it! Thanks.
***
Dear Upstairs Neighbors:
I know, I know, my ears are probably just sensitive, but your TV is still a tad loud. I wouldn’t keep bothering you, but Mariska Hargitay’s voice really upsets me. If you could just turn it down a smidge, thanks.
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Dear Upstairs Neighbors:
Look, I’ve asked you nicely three times. I would hate for anything to happen to you guys or that cat you think no one knows you have. I don’t want to resort to anything so silly as “legal action” or having to call the landlord, but if you don’t turn it down I can’t be responsible for what happens.
***
Dear Upstairs Neighbors:
Seriously, turn it down.
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DEAR UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR ASSHOLES:
TURN DOWN YOUR FUCKING TV OR I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!
I DON’T CARE IF I GO TO JAIL BECAUSE THE CLOVEN-HOOFED RICHARD BELZER IS THE SUCCUBUS and ICE-T is the SNAKE who lives in the LOINS of the DARK MASTER!!!!!!!!!
DIE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!
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9 comments:
At least they're not watching DaySide. Or the Oreck vacuum cleaner commercial. Or the new Geico commercials with the Gecko who isn't even 1/8 as funny as Mr. Jiggy Fly.
I like the Geico cavemen commercials myself.
Yes, the Gecko has already worn out his welcome as the campaign seems to be based on his wordy little ramblings. It's as if the bit is supposed to be funny because of just how boring it is. Well you know, it really is boring. And worse when you see it 22 times a day!
It's really sad that there is a hierarchy of annoying commercials. At least they don't play Christy Lane too often anymore. I think the roll-up piano has replaced her.
Does anything make you happy?
Things that make me happy:
Raindrops on roses
Whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles
Warm woolen mittens
Rainbows
Unicorns
Chicken Soup For The Soul
Large quantities of alcohol
KATE when are you going to post again! Anne-Marie and Karen and I are obsessed with 'Project Runway' and so with a certain blog. You must look at the cats associated with this blog.
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/kitty_pride/index.html
I am working in the daytime now. Sorry I missed you
Now, sit down and type us a post
Also, I once had a housemate who would get stoned in her room every night watching Channel 38. Every night at 10 the theme from "M*A*S*H" would start up on the other side of the paper-thin wall seperating our rooms. That was a pretty good time in my life.
and yes, that's 'separating'
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