How to annoy me at home:
*Live upstairs and clomp around on your uncarpeted hardwood floor in platform shoes or, alternatively, when in bare feet, take really big steps, using as much force as possible
*Live upstairs and watch Law & Order with the volume turned up to one billion so I can't hear The Sopranos
*Call me before noon
*Play with your furry mice at 4 am^
*Play with a real mouse at 4 am^
*Climb the mini-blinds and hang from them^
*Act like you haven’t eaten in three years every time I walk by the kitchen even if you actually ate 10 minutes ago AND you have a full bowl of dry food^
*And when I do feed you, gobble it down as fast as possible so you can throw it up two minutes later^
*Try to wedge your UPS truck past the moving van parked in the middle of the street so when the inevitable cab gets stuck behind you the driver will lean on his horn for 40 minutes
*Be Oprah
^Cats only
Coming Soon: How to annoy me on the subway
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