Abandon All Hope, Y'all

I’m still reading (and by "reading" I mean "carrying around in my bag") The Inferno and I can’t help but notice how similar Hell is the subway. In fact, I made a chart:

Hell vs. NYC Subways

Hell	NY Subway
Multi-level	Multi-level
“Steaming from that pit, a vapor rose/over the banks, crusting them with a slime/ that sickened my eyes and hammered at my nose”	River of radioactive sludge on tracks at 59th St.
“And here the stink/ thrown up by the abyss so overpowered us/ that we drew back, cowering behind the wall”	Unrelenting stench of urine, abscessed flesh, rotting tumor and human feces
“The wood leaped with black bitches, swift as greyhounds escaping from their leash”	Rats as big as greyhounds
“Behold the beast that makes the whole world stink”	The guy who's been riding the A train for three days
Sinners there for eternity	People waiting for a C train on a Saturday morning there for eternity
Hot	Really hot
Free	$2.00

Speaking of subways, one thing I've learned after (almost) a year in NYC: If all the subway cars are full, and one is empty, it’s empty for a reason. Like a dead body or no A/C. I think last night they were blowing poison gas into the car as well because although the heat didn’t bother me, by the time I got to 86th St. I was drowsy and hallucinating.

*** Things annoying me tonight:

Having to see an Amstel Light commercial while I’m at work and can’t have one.
The Red Sox lost to the freaking Devil Rays AGAIN.
Everyone on The Restaurant, from Rocco the toolbox to his scumbag bridge and tunnel customers. (I do love the catty staff, though.)
My supreme dorkiness.