Not Babylon

Blech. It’s damp, it’s cold, the Red Sox just got swept by the freakin Blue Jays and my phone hasn’t rung in 48 hours. I have no choice but to drink wine straight from the bottle and listen to David Gray.

I love New York, I love my apartment, but my fondue set is sitting in the top cupboard, lonely and sad, while the bottle opener makes fun of it, like, “Dude, why don’t you come out once in a while?” The fondue set is all, “Don’t worry about ME, I’m FINE here by myself. I don’t need anyone.” I admire the fondue set's bravado, but the fact remains you can’t have fondue by yourself and the Snoop can’t hold a fork.
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I am boycotting Starbucks because on the two occasions I went into the one near my house, there was nowhere to sit. On top of it, their coffee sucks. That steaming, fetid puddle on the 59th St. subway tracks? Better than Starsucks. I don’t know if you can boycott a place you rarely go to in the first place, but I am.
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I got sucked in to the Melrose Place True Hollywood Story today, and I found out that Brian Heidik, who played the pool boy (I guess), owes his success on Survivor Thailand to his role on the MP, because of all the maneuvering and conniving that went on (not by his character, per se, but uh, by the other ones). It warms my heart to know that so much good could come from one little TV show.
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If I hear ONE MORE WORD about Jeets' catch, that he should've let the other guy get in the first place, I will strap myself with explosives and get on the A train.*

*DISCLAIMER: Dear Mr. Chertoff, I’m not really going to strap myself with explosives and get on the A train. For one thing, I don’t even know where to get explosives.

Top Five CDs To Listen To If You're Feeling Sorry For Yourself Because You're Alone In NYC

5. The Carpenters
4. America
3. Jim Croce
2. David Gray
1. Dan Fogelburg