Take the A(Rod) Train

The C train (also the A train when it’s pinch-hitting for the C) is the A-Rod of the subway. In a game against Kansas City in April - the middle of the day, rush hour, anytime you’re NOT in a hurry - the C train is all home runs and RBIs. It comes right away, there are no delays and everything is fine. But come playoff time -Saturday morning, after 11:00 pm, when you needed to be at Penn Station 15 minutes ago- it’s completely useless. It’ll take 45 minutes to arrive; you will be stopped at 59th St. for 15 minutes; or, like A-Rod in the clutch - down one in the bottom of the ninth with two on and one out - it will ground into a double play by completely skipping your stop, forcing you to walk four blocks out of your way and fight off all the douchebags in Times Square when you are already a half hour late for work. Also it’s blue, just like A-Rod’s lips.