You would think that local news in New York would be all about mob shootouts and human trafficking rings, but no. It’s February… it’s snowing… it must be Armageddon. We clearly need live-shots from every borough because how else would we know how to survive that 1 to 3 INCHES. Oh my god, I’d better hurry out to the store for supplies. Wait - it’s after midnight. The liquor store is closed. I’m so fucked.
Congratulations, Martin Scorsese and The Departed for your Best Fake Boston Accents Oscar. But that was the only nominated movie that I’ve actually seen, so I feel like it was a shout-out. I feel you too, Academy. I’ll forgive you for not picking Mark Mark.
News from Yankee camp is that Johnny Damon has left for a few days for “personal reasons.” Yeah, that’s what happens to big fat TRAITORS who marry strippers. I’m sure it’s totally innocuous. I’m sure he didn’t knock up a 15-year-old groupie or anything. See, if you’d stayed in Boston, Johnny Boy, you wouldn’t have these problems.
I just saw a Viagra commercial where the attractive “older” (probably my age) guy decides to tape the Big Game in order have sex with the hot young babe. However, he tapes the game on his VCR. Way to go, Grandpa. Don't forget to crank up the Everly Brothers on your Hi-Fi while you're at it.
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